I must have been out of my mind to shop at Fairway Market at 5 p.m. on a Saturday. I'll just blitz it, I thought. Ha ... ha ha ... ha ha! Simple: fly over the multitudes to the yogurt case, the deli counter, the prepared foods, the toilet paper? Crash and burn! I gave up on the roasted cauliflower, the canned beans, baking soda, bottled water -- although I did read, very carefully, the deposit policy at check-out. Damn, I am going to get my 10 cents back for those empty bottles of Poland Spring!
It's just another one of those Saturdays where I want to do everything and nothing, pretending I'm 30 again, wanting to start over, dance again, run a studio, teach actors and singers when I'm sixty. It stays light longer, and it is windy today, windier than I remember in Chicago in early May.
I unearthed some old ballet clothing in my "stuff" bin when I decided to throw away a few favorite full-of-holes tee-shirts. How great it would be to dance again! I don't mind the aches and pains, the gimpy foot, the feelings of extreme inferiority, the feeling of wanting to run and hide when I did a good job. I'd give anything.